The What Why How of Dilation

Dilation is a word we hear a lot. It's usually in medical terms regarding eyes or pregnancy and in its most base definition means: to make, or be made, wider.

For most of us, when we think of dilation, we are probably referring back to a medical or crime show. "You can tell they're on drugs, their pupils are dilated" or "She's going into labour! Check how the cervix dilation is going!" And people rush around speaking technical jargon and arresting the bad guys.

But dilation is not just for eyes and cervixes, and can actually be applied to quite a few different sexual techniques and lifestyles, some for pleasure and others for specific medical maintenance and treatments. So let's have a look at the what, why and how of dilation. 

Anal Dilation 

Anal dilation, and to a similar extent, anal gaping, is one of the fastest growing interests we've noticed on Adult Match Maker. When we analyse our member's interests and fantasies and what they'd like to know more about, that (and other anal sexual play) always features so let's have a closer look.

Before we even talk about "gaping" (because I know that can be quite confronting for those not interested in it) let me first say the primary purpose for anal dilation is not for that big, gaping porn hole that you see in the movies. It's actually just for personal comfort. We've talked many times in this blog about anal sex and preparing for anal sex, and the fact that the anal passage is nothing like the vaginal one in terms of elasticity. Using anal dilators, ie. basic anal training kits, is a great way to get your butt used to different sizes and different actions. Usually smooth and tubular (with a flared base) anal dilators come in a variety of sizes, and you use them gradually from thinnest to thickest, training and loosening the anal passage and getting it used to all the different feelings and sensations.

It's not permanent, and if done carefully, like all new sex acts, shouldn't be too painful, although getting past the "discomfort" and "omg am I pooping" side of anal is one of its purposes so be aware it might feel a bit weird and odd at the beginning.

On the medical side of anal dilation it is often used for people who have had serious prostate problems or other anal issues like haemorrhoids, to improve function and comfort in that area. 

Oh yeah, and fellas, none of it makes you gay unless you are, of course, gay.

Vaginal Dilation

No, this has nothing to do with babies, and for the most part is used for treatment of certain medical issues, but is absolutely changing the way thousands of women have and enjoy sex, many who have never been able to indulge without pain or discomfort before. While rarely spoken about, there is a condition that affects vaginas and the muscles within it called vaginismus. Without going into a full medical explanation, vaginismus is an affliction that makes the vaginal muscles tighten so hard they can make penetration almost impossible and incredibly painful. While it's not completely clear what causes it, many factors reported by patients and doctors include things like anxiety disorders and, probably more commonly, sexual trauma like rape and childhood sex abuse. It is completely involuntary and unable to be controlled, and can cause a whole lot of psychological issues for those who have to deal with it. There are also some other vaginal disorders that are very similar to vaginismus too, like vaginal atrophy which happens to many women during menopause when the oestrogen starts to thin out the vaginal lining, making it drier and tighter and less able to be penetrated, and certain radiation and chemotherapy treatments can also have a drying and damaging result, but they can often be treated the same way, with vaginal dilators. 

Similar to anal ones they are thin to thick smooth rods that are inserted into the vagina size by size to help the muscles loosen, and get used to penetration. For many people who suffer vaginismus because of sexual trauma, the controlled, self use of dilators, in a safe and comfortable setting like their own home, can work wonders in allowing the exploration and working through personal issues and feelings towards penetrative sex. 

Designer Vaginas 

For women who were born without vaginas, either cis women with medical conditions like Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome where they are born without a discernible vagina but more like a sort of shallow dimple, or women who were "Assigned Male at Birth", there are medical interventions and operations that can help create the vagina you were always supposed to have. These vaginas, however, do need a little bit of extra help sometimes to maintain their shape, integrity, strength, and depth. Enter the vaginal dilator (pun really not intended!). 

These are amazing life changers for women with designer vaginas or other medical issues. Used for around an hour or so a day, (some women may need more and others less, all vaginas are unique) they keep it fresh and long and ready for all the other stuff people like to do with vaginas. 

They're not necessarily the most pleasurable of things but it also shouldn't be painful. According to a couple of trans women I spoke to, it's not particularly comfortable, and is a bit annoying after a while because you literally have to do it for the rest of your life, but it's absolutely worth it in the great scheme of things. 

Dilation As Fetish

Oh yes, similarly to rule 34 (the internet rule that states "if you can think of it, there's porn made of it"), when it comes to fetish there's people with kinks and quirks for almost anything you can think of (and a bunch more that would never even cross your mind) and of course dilation is one of them.

As mentioned above, one of the most common forms of dilation fetish is the anal gape. That's when someone takes something of an unusually large size into their anal passage and, when removed, keeps the butthole wide open and gaping. It can take a lot of practise and training and if not done very carefully can lead to a few issues, including tearing of the anal passage and, in extreme cases, rectal prolapse, but that is pretty rare, especially if you're careful. The key to enjoyable gaping is the same as any advice relating to anal play. Staying as relaxed as possible, using lots of lube, and having patience and listening to your body.

Another form of dilation used as a fetish is that of sounding. Sounding is the insertion of long, usually stainless steel, rods into the urethra (both in male and females, although penis sounding is far more common) which can enhance pleasure and create a whole bunch of new and enjoyable sensations. It can be incredibly risky though, and we do not recommend just sticking stuff into your urethra without doing some proper research first and possibly reaching out to a professional to help you get on your way.

Whatever your pleasure or need, be it medical necessity or kinky playtime exploration you'll be able to find a dilator that works for you. Always speak to a professional for more personalised advice and never be ashamed or embarrassed if your body needs a little extra help to make it the best it can be. That's what self care and self love is all about.

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