It’s Cuffing Season! Who’s keen?

You might think that the use of restraint is only for those deeply engaged in the BDSM or kink. With Cuffing Season upon us (yes it’s an American term for hooking up in Autumn but we’ve given it a new twist) we’ve put together this guide to exploring restraints to give your sex life a little bit of spice. And if you don’t have any cuffs just sitting around the house, keep reading! Not only do we have some suggestions for ways to play with restraints, but some common items you might like to use. 

Restraints for Tease and Denial

One the best ways to turn your partner into an insatiable hornbag is through teasing and denial, and cuffs are an extraordinarily fun way to do this. 

How about securing your partner to the bed, and giving them some sensual delights? After they’re immobilised, run your fingers, lips, and tongue over their body. Perhaps you could even add in a feather or a silky scarf. Be sure to focus on the areas you know they enjoy, and once you know that they’re getting really hot, stop. Ask them if they want more. Make them beg for your touch. Once you resume, be sure to rebuild the tension slowly, and make your touch more intimate – brush against their nipples and genitals. Simply play until they beg you for release!

Of course, teasing wouldn’t be complete without a restrained striptease. Cuff your partner to a chair and make them watch as you take it all off. There is no need to be a ‘dancer’ or perform a show. Just be slow and mindful in your movements and keep eye contact with your partner. Touch yourself and watch them watch you. Make them smell and taste you. Ask them how much they want you. Be sure to show off the parts of your body they appreciate the most, and don’t let them out until they are squirming.

And if you’re not quite ready to take the plunge into restraint, you can use them as a naughty motivation. Just leave them on your partner’s pillow and let them know you’ll be locking them up unless they perform as you wish.

Restraints for Sex

There are several ways to make the most of your cuffs during sex, and you can utilise different techniques depending on where you find the cuffs most comfortable and fun.

If you enjoy having your wrists bound behind you, how about trying doggy style, and allowing your partner to control your arms? Just make sure you have some padding under your torso to hold up your weight and prevent face-planting (unless you’re keen on that!)

Wrists can be bound in front of the body, and your partner encouraged to try and touch themselves during sex.

You can also cuff yourself to your partner and experiment with positions that work while you’re both restrained. This is an excellent way to escape your comfort zone, or break those patterns that emerge with a long-term partner. Think of it as a fun challenge to try something new. You might find a great new position.

Legs can be positioned using ankle cuffs fixed to bed posts or furniture to create the desired access.

Restraint Devices

Keep in mind you don’t even need a set of cuffs to have some fun with restraint. There will be a variety of items around your home that you can use just as effectively.

Stockings/Pantyhose: Although they are easy to access, and often seen as a basic go-to, the problem with stockings is their elasticity. When pulling against the restraint, the knots can tighten so much they are almost impossible to undo so if you choose this option, it's imperative that you have safety scissors nearby. And make sure you choose a pair that can be destroyed.

Clothing: If you’re really in a bind (get it?!) and are unsure what to use, just grab an article of clothing with a little bit of stretch. Scarves can be great, long-sleeved tees and leggings can also be effective. Like stockings, just make sure that whatever you use is something that can take any potential damage, be it stretching, tearing, or cutting. 

Rope: Many people use rope for restraint, but that doesn’t mean they head out to the shed and grab any old rope they have. Most of the rope used for body restraint is made from natural fibres like hemp, jute, cotton, linen, and bamboo. There are also many synthetic blends, but these are generally used for more advanced rope play, and are not recommended for beginners or bedroom play as they can be quite slippery and are more likely to cause rope burn. If you can be aware of your partner’s comfort with the feel of the rope against their skin, and don’t make your ties too tight you can have a lot of fun with this.

Bondage Tape: This is a great way for beginners to get into restraint due to its ease of use and relative safety. This thin tape is generally made from PVC and only adheres to itself – there is no sticky backing to damage your skin or pull at your hair. Bondage tape can be wrapped around the wrists or ankles to create makeshift cuffs, is strong enough to restrain someone to a chair or other furniture, and is so versatile it can even be used to create blindfolds and gags.

Hobble Belts: Originally used to keep ponies in their place, the hobble belt is (as the name suggests) a belt used for hobbling. Once removed, the belt can be reconfigured into a figure eight, a limb is placed into each loop, and the belt is tightened. Check out our friends at PM Leather to get a pictorial instruction on how the hobble belt works. 

Bondage Bedding: There are a variety of devices you can purchase to add some restraints to your bed. Usually sold as a kit that comes with four cuffs – one for each wrist and one for each ankle – with adjustable straps that pass under the mattress, these sets allow for maximum versatility with all kinds of beds that may not have posts to tie straps or cuffs to.

Restraint Safety

• When tying someone always be sure not to go too tight. Generally we use the ‘rule of thumb’, that is, if your thumb can’t slide easily between the restraint and the wrist (or ankle) then the binding is too tight. 
• Keep an eye on the skin. If the hands (or feet) start looking swollen, and the skin turns a darker hue the restraints need to be loosened or removed.
• Keep any knots on the outside, rather than against the skin. Knots against the skin can create uncomfortable pressure and even damage the nerves.
• Always have safety scissors on hand to ensure the restraints can be removed quickly if problems or discomfort arise.
• Avoid cuffs that require keys. Not only are they generally the least comfortable, but keys are way too easy to misplace. With so many options for cuffs on the market, you are sure to find something to contribute to your sensual sexy times without the stress of keys.

We’d love to hear how you incorporate cuffs into your sexy times, so be sure to give us your ideas in the comments. And if you’re interested in taking your restraint play to the next level check out our article on shibari.